Adventures in Online Dating

If you've been following my blog then you know that up until this point my stories have been those of an abusive relationship in which I lost myself and dissolved into a person I didn't recognize.  Those moments still pop up frequently and John is still an aggressive, angry man.  But it's been a year …

Shadows

It's been a while since I had the time to sit down and write.  Part of me thinks that might be a good thing.  Life is getting a little bit better with every day that passes.  The pain and fear that years of emotional abuse have left behind is becoming more of a shadow behind …

And so it Begins…

After I met with my lawyer I let John know that he was going to be served.  I even went as far as to ask him where he would like to be served.  Again... I was protecting him... accommodating him.  It was all I knew. I wasn't sure how he was going to react.  I …

Paralyzing Fear

  The decision to get a divorce was not an easy one.  While, at this point in my story, I was aware that this was not a healthy relationship, there was this overwhelming, paralyzing fear that was holding me back.  Fear that I was exactly what John had said I was and no one else …

My College Family

It's amazing how a person can allow life's circumstances to isolate them and make them feel alone, even when they are surrounded by people who love them.  This is one thing I learned about myself in the process of gaining the strength to leave John.  The entire time that I cried myself to sleep.... that …

Evie

Work continued to be a place where I found support, love and happiness.  The relationships I built with my coworkers gave me a place to unload and hear the message that I deserved better and that John's treatment of me was a reflection of him and not something that I was, in some way, asking …

Jane

I was nervous as I waited for the counselor to open her door and call my name.  Abby and I had essentially picked her off of the internet and I was about to trust her with things that I hadn't told anyone.  I clasped my hands to try and hide the fact that they were …

Nora

As I mentioned in my previous post, there are many people that helped me to realize that my relationship with John was a toxic one.  Nora was one of those people.  We had worked at the same school for a few years.  She was the teacher in the behavioral program in our school.  Somehow she …

A Turning Point

My eyes had been opened.  John's comment, making a comparison of having our children to surviving hell, was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I may not have been strong enough to admit that something was wrong when his darkness was directed at me.... but this was different.... this was about my children. This …

Our New House

I've been trying to write my blog in the order that events occurred to not only fully help me process through things, but to also give my readers a clear understanding of my story and what led me to the decisions that I made.  With that being said, I am going to go out of …