As part of the divorce process in Connecticut you are required to attend a court appointed parenting class if there are children involved. It is a day long event in which a room is filled with emotional people ... some who are heart broken.... some who are furious... all who do not want to be … Continue reading Court Appointed Parenting Class
Have you ever had to talk yourself through breathing? Legitimately tell yourself, "Take a breath in.... now blow it out... again..." as if you might stop breathing on the spot if you didn't remind yourself how to do it? Have you ever felt the debilitating pain in your chest as you fought to force your … Continue reading Breathe
Somewhere, deep down, I had thought that once I had the courage to serve John that everything would start getting better. I would see the light at the end of the tunnel and I would feel as if I was working towards a better life. And then I was introduced to the court system. What … Continue reading Family Relations
One thing I learned as I researched narcissists is that they rarely admit their flaws. John was no different. The reality of our impending divorce was very clear. There was no question that this divorce was happening. Living in the house was like walking around live grenades all day trying not to set one off. … Continue reading Ostrich
Is it Abuse?
John became less and less cooperative as we progressed through the divorce and remained in the same house together. He continued to twist everything I said and did to try and make me doubt myself. I'm not sure why I engaged in conversations with him about the divorce. Perhaps I still thought that I might … Continue reading Is it Abuse?
An Unstable Man
Things really stared heating up after John was served. I started keeping a journal of everything that was happening at home in the hopes that a judge would someday look at it and see that it was dangerous for the children to have time alone with John. John became even more short and rough with … Continue reading An Unstable Man
And so it Begins…
After I met with my lawyer I let John know that he was going to be served. I even went as far as to ask him where he would like to be served. Again... I was protecting him... accommodating him. It was all I knew. I wasn't sure how he was going to react. I … Continue reading And so it Begins…
Finding a Lawyer
I'd love to say that the moment I made the decision to call a lawyer that my life immediately became a calmer, safer, happier one. The truth is I was about to embark on the most painful, dangerous, difficult journey that I would ever take. But sitting here, on the other side, I can now … Continue reading Finding a Lawyer
The decision to get a divorce was not an easy one. While, at this point in my story, I was aware that this was not a healthy relationship, there was this overwhelming, paralyzing fear that was holding me back. Fear that I was exactly what John had said I was and no one else … Continue reading Paralyzing Fear
My College Family
It's amazing how a person can allow life's circumstances to isolate them and make them feel alone, even when they are surrounded by people who love them. This is one thing I learned about myself in the process of gaining the strength to leave John. The entire time that I cried myself to sleep.... that … Continue reading My College Family