Emotional Blackmail

Even though the children weren't aware that we were in the process of a divorce, they were beginning to react to the dynamic in the house.  John continued to say things to them when I wasn't around that confused them, upset them and alluded to the fact that there was something "bad" looming in the …

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Breathe

Have you ever had to talk yourself through breathing?  Legitimately tell yourself, "Take a breath in.... now blow it out... again..." as if you might stop breathing on the spot if you didn't remind yourself how to do it?  Have you ever felt the debilitating pain in your chest as you fought to force your …

Family Relations

Somewhere, deep down, I had thought that once I had the courage to serve John that everything would start getting better.  I would see the light at the end of the tunnel and I would feel as if I was working towards a better life.  And then I was introduced to the court system. What …

Is this Normal?

I was extremely unhappy in my marriage with John.  I threw myself into my work and my kids to try and find happiness there... and I did.... but something was still missing.  John's aggressive arguments only got more frequent and more intense.  I made it a point to barely say anything to him when the …

Carsick

Life with John had quickly trained me to be used to doing things by myself.  I rarely asked for help because when I did he would either purposefully act like he had no idea how to do simple things, or he would have an excuse why he couldn't help.  (For example when I asked him …

Run!

John's fuse seemed to get shorter and shorter with each passing day.  I continued to try to make the best of things, but it started getting harder.  I found myself coming into work flustered and frazzled as each morning would start with him screaming at me for something, or him doing something to the children …

Mirror, Mirror

John's aggressive nature towards me had become my normal.  I imagine that almost all  relationships have moments where one of the partners comes off as aggressive or insensitive.  My relationship with John was made almost purely of these moments however.  At least once a day there would be a conversation that resulted in John chasing …

The Television

  John has always been a person who loves technology.  He is employed as a software engineer at a very reputable company.  At a young age he learned how to program computers and ended up making that hobby into a side job in which he earned additional income.  He had visions of fully automating the …

The Tubes

John was always very rigid when it came to any medical intervention.  He told me once that if he ever developed cancer he would cure it by just "changing his diet".  I used to have to beg him to allow me to give James Tylenol when he had a high fever.  He never really had …

The Party

Spending time with my children has always been a source of joy for me. There was never enough time during the week because we were always running around to different appointments after school and work. The weekends were precious, uninterrupted family time that I treasured. One weekend John asked me if I'd go with him …