Is this Normal?

I was extremely unhappy in my marriage with John.  I threw myself into my work and my kids to try and find happiness there... and I did.... but something was still missing.  John's aggressive arguments only got more frequent and more intense.  I made it a point to barely say anything to him when the …

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Choose Love

When I was pregnant with Quinn a tragic event occurred in my hometown.  It rocked our community to its core and even though I was not currently living there, it made an everlasting impact on me.  I remember checking Facebook on my phone very quickly before heading to lunch duty.  One of my friends had …

Mirror, Mirror

John's aggressive nature towards me had become my normal.  I imagine that almost all  relationships have moments where one of the partners comes off as aggressive or insensitive.  My relationship with John was made almost purely of these moments however.  At least once a day there would be a conversation that resulted in John chasing …

The Television

  John has always been a person who loves technology.  He is employed as a software engineer at a very reputable company.  At a young age he learned how to program computers and ended up making that hobby into a side job in which he earned additional income.  He had visions of fully automating the …

Us vs Him

As time passed and the children grew, my busy mom life continued on.  I became more comfortable with James' diagnosis of high functioning autism and our lives became a daily adventure of eating dinner in the car while I drove the kids to one of James' many appointments.  We were on the go so often …

The Second Love of My Live

The day my daughter was born I found myself falling in love for the second time in my life.  As soon as she entered the world and was placed on my chest, tears leaked out of my eyes and streamed down my cheeks.  I was still shaking uncontrollably from the physical task that had just …

Our New House

I've been trying to write my blog in the order that events occurred to not only fully help me process through things, but to also give my readers a clear understanding of my story and what led me to the decisions that I made.  With that being said, I am going to go out of …

Pregnant and on the Run

As my daughter grew inside of me I focused on the joy and anticipation of holding her in my arms as well as the love I had for my son.  I continued to walk on eggshells.... I continued to take care of the majority of the household chores and responsibilities... and I continued to learn …

The Spectrum of Loneliness

Life with John continued status quo for the next year or so.  Nothing really changed.  He would frequently get angry with me over things I didn't see coming and I would continue to try my hardest to keep things calm.  James was my ray of light in all of this so I turned all of …

A Father’s Love

Being a mother changed my life.  I rushed home from work every day to see my son.  I'd sneak into his bedroom at night to watch him sleep.  He was a complete miracle.  The definition of true love.  Even at three weeks old his smile would light up an entire room.  I couldn't stop staring …