The Spectrum of Loneliness

Life with John continued status quo for the next year or so.  Nothing really changed.  He would frequently get angry with me over things I didn't see coming and I would continue to try my hardest to keep things calm.  James was my ray of light in all of this so I turned all of … Continue reading The Spectrum of Loneliness

When Asking for Intimacy is Too Much

I always had a difficult time trying to get John to be intimate with me.  Physical interactions were far and few between, but what bothered me more than that was the emotional intimacy that seemed to be missing from our relationship.  From really early on I would ask John to share stories of his childhood … Continue reading When Asking for Intimacy is Too Much


I graduated college two years before John did.  I came back to Connecticut and got a job  teaching in a high school in Litchfield County.  The on going dance of nightly phone calls that almost always ended in nightly arguments continued.  Rereading my old journals revealed a pattern of recognizing the verbally abusive way John … Continue reading Curtains