Mandated Reporters

Because I am a teacher, I know the ins and outs of what happens at a school.  I also know the legal requirements and the rationale behind them.  One of those requirements is that anyone who works with children is considered a "mandated reporter" by DCF.  This means that if they suspect any type of …

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You Are Loved

It's really easy to get lost amidst the stress and the drama of a divorce.  It's too easy to forget that you are loved.... to easy to feel lost and alone.  This is especially true when the person that you are divorcing is controlling and abusive.  I felt myself withering away.  There were times that... …

Unexplained Bruises

Time went on.... the environment continued to be toxic.  John started hiding whiskey in the kitchen.  I'm not sure if he knew that I knew about it or not, but I watched each day as the bottle quickly emptied and was replaced by another.  This only strengthened my fear of sleeping in the same house …

Telephone War

Having a child with autism who can become aggressive can be utterly exhausting.  James was always really well behaved for me.  He rarely showed any negative behaviors when we were together (with the exception of when John was present and instigating).  When James was not with me, however, he frequently became aggressive and even violent.  …

Using the Children as Weapons

As John's control over me began slipping away, he began to escalate.  Anger flowed off his body in waves.  I could feel it across the room.  I did my best to avoid any interactions ... to even avoid eye contact when possible.  I became very jumpy and very on edge.  I was always aware of …

Ostrich

One thing I learned as I researched narcissists is that they rarely admit their flaws.  John was no different.  The reality of our impending divorce was very clear.  There was no question that this divorce was happening.  Living in the house was like walking around live grenades all day trying not to set one off. …

And so it Begins…

After I met with my lawyer I let John know that he was going to be served.  I even went as far as to ask him where he would like to be served.  Again... I was protecting him... accommodating him.  It was all I knew. I wasn't sure how he was going to react.  I …

Paralyzing Fear

  The decision to get a divorce was not an easy one.  While, at this point in my story, I was aware that this was not a healthy relationship, there was this overwhelming, paralyzing fear that was holding me back.  Fear that I was exactly what John had said I was and no one else …

My College Family

It's amazing how a person can allow life's circumstances to isolate them and make them feel alone, even when they are surrounded by people who love them.  This is one thing I learned about myself in the process of gaining the strength to leave John.  The entire time that I cried myself to sleep.... that …