Emotional Blackmail

Even though the children weren't aware that we were in the process of a divorce, they were beginning to react to the dynamic in the house.  John continued to say things to them when I wasn't around that confused them, upset them and alluded to the fact that there was something "bad" looming in the …

Advertisement

Court Appointed Parenting Class

As part of the divorce process in Connecticut you are required to attend a court appointed parenting class if there are children involved.  It is a day long event in which a room is filled with emotional people ... some who are heart broken.... some who are furious... all who do not want to be …

Mind Games and Manipulation

  John was a very smart man.  He knew that he had barely participated in parenting the children up until this point.  He also knew that would hurt his claim that he should get the children half of the time. I'm honestly not sure why he wanted to have the children half the time.  He …

And so it Begins…

After I met with my lawyer I let John know that he was going to be served.  I even went as far as to ask him where he would like to be served.  Again... I was protecting him... accommodating him.  It was all I knew. I wasn't sure how he was going to react.  I …

Paralyzing Fear

  The decision to get a divorce was not an easy one.  While, at this point in my story, I was aware that this was not a healthy relationship, there was this overwhelming, paralyzing fear that was holding me back.  Fear that I was exactly what John had said I was and no one else …

My College Family

It's amazing how a person can allow life's circumstances to isolate them and make them feel alone, even when they are surrounded by people who love them.  This is one thing I learned about myself in the process of gaining the strength to leave John.  The entire time that I cried myself to sleep.... that …

Evie

Work continued to be a place where I found support, love and happiness.  The relationships I built with my coworkers gave me a place to unload and hear the message that I deserved better and that John's treatment of me was a reflection of him and not something that I was, in some way, asking …

Jane

I was nervous as I waited for the counselor to open her door and call my name.  Abby and I had essentially picked her off of the internet and I was about to trust her with things that I hadn't told anyone.  I clasped my hands to try and hide the fact that they were …

Nora

As I mentioned in my previous post, there are many people that helped me to realize that my relationship with John was a toxic one.  Nora was one of those people.  We had worked at the same school for a few years.  She was the teacher in the behavioral program in our school.  Somehow she …

A Turning Point

My eyes had been opened.  John's comment, making a comparison of having our children to surviving hell, was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I may not have been strong enough to admit that something was wrong when his darkness was directed at me.... but this was different.... this was about my children. This …